I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
