Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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