You're so nebulous sometimes
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
