it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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