Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
