Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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