Don't you send me to vm
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
