bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
