Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Someone came in the potted fern
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
