I cannot find my penis.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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