Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
