I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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