i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
