if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
