The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize