so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
