I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
