I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
