he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
