Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
