i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
