I'm jealous of your bromance
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
