They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
