don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
