Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
