Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
