im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize