All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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