Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
