so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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