i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
