Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
