i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
