Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
