Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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