Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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