they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How does one acquire holy water?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
