so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
