Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you didnt know i had herpes?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize