remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
