i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's blow job season.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I didn't notice because vodka
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
