whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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