I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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