batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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