Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
