I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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