Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
