I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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