I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
