I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
