Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
