he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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