found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
