don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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