All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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