He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
