I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
