But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
