i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
